Y’all may have noticed a couple changes across my channels over the past week. There’s plenty to unpack if you’re looking, but there is obviously a major one staring directly at you as you read this. I may have seemed a little manic to anyone watching the names change on my channels to be changed again the following day, and I would be lying to say that it wasn’t on some level. The first thing I need to acknowledge, is the reality that the reasoning is steeped in privilege, honest mistakes and lessons learned. The thing about blissful ignorance, is when we take a moment to see the whole picture, and do the work we need to do- suddenly, we’re left with different impressions of our historically championed characters. I have had the privilege of not having to truly consider a lot of the realities that we have chosen for so long to repress in the name of their ‘art’. Truth be told, if you’d asked me a week ago, I don’t know that I would’ve ever had the question cross my mind about whether an author, who I had only ever seen as the catalyst for an entire genre of horror, was a documented piece of shit or not. The reality is, a quick google search doesn’t leave much to the imagination. H.P. Lovecraft was vocally hateful, and no amount of love for my craft makes glorifying the name of an old racist white man worth trying to plead ignorance. It’s hypocritical to push a narrative that I wouldn’t push on myself, and so I think it’s important to be equally transparent in my shortcomings as I learn and grow. We all make mistakes, it’s a beautiful part of human nature. It’s what we do with those lessons that matters. I need to spend more time thinking about the bigger picture, rather than the cute word play. Those are not the smiles I am, or ever have been looking for. My haste in trying to distance myself from Cortado & Culture lead to a mindless, uneducated example of privilege. I need to do better, and I will own that.
I had long struggled with my company name. As cute as the alliteration of Cortado and Culture was, it will forever be rooted around a time in my life in which I was pretty disappointed with cafes and the gross misrepresentation of ‘culture’. It felt like everyone had just started adding cortado’s to their menu and then in a flash of smoke, POOF! culture. Regardless of the realities it is cut with, it was never a name I said proudly or felt truly 100% behind, because it has posed as a constant reminder of a time that helped me lose complete sight of who I am and my worth as a contributor to our industry. It will also forever hold a word that I struggle with. Culture. Who the fuck am I to market a business on a concept that I only have any real understanding of in a visitorial capacity? What the fuck even IS cafe culture, if not a way to veil buying whatever you can get at the cheapest price as honest to god, specialty coffee? What the fuck am I coveting? I believe in community. I believe in more farmer forward relationships in coffee. If we want to talk about the 2 C’s of C.C. Peaceman, they stand for coffee and community.
Peaceman is instant rerooting for me, and I’m ashamed to say it took me this many years to realize it. I consider myself lucky to have been raised in a family of open, loving, passionate artists. My grandfather will forever be mythical in my eyes. His story is too long to fully unpack, but Peaceman is a very blatant tribute. Peaceman’s Farm was the last released record from my grandfathers rock and roll band, before they got signed by MCA, recorded their major label debut in California, and just as quickly saw it all disappear when their singer, my Grandfathers cousin, was diagnosed with a brain tumour and passed away before it could ever be released. He was a man of honour, a man of love, a man of sharing and a man that lived with Parkinson’s for 20+ years, but never stopped writing music until the day he was finally hospitalized before passing a few years ago. Peaceman is my unwavering dedication to being the kind of human my grandfather was and the level of love he showed and shared with everybody.
I’m sorry for the rollercoaster week, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to be in each of your lives and feeds. I’m grateful for the space to be the proudly queer coffee professional I have been given the space to be, and thrive in. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share these beautiful coffees and stories with you all.I’m grateful for every misstep and bump along the way, for it’s inherently following learning opportunity. Y’all stay loud. There is no peace without justice.